It has been a very long time since the last time I wrote anything for the blog. My last post was on 29/06, three months ago to be precise. It’s amazing how fast time passes.
I’m reticent to post this on the blog because one of the things that has been holding me back is I don’t like that the main topic on my blog is about my experience writing the blog. Here I am, writing again about it. It frustrates me. I have so many ideas to write about, yet the only thing I seem to be motivated enough to actually write is about my struggles writing them. It is so ironic and meta. Too much.
However, it has been three months. Over those three months, I have made small edits and reorganisations to the blog. I even broke it once because I updated to the latest Quartz version and I had a bunch of conflicts with the changes I’ve been making to the code. Not that it matters much if there is no content on it.
Over those three months, I’ve never really considered quitting or letting go of the 100 posts project. I’ve obviously let go of the goal of writing one post a week. But I still want to write 100 posts, I still think it’s meaningful and a good target to focus on. I still want to experiment with posting more in public, so I’m still doing this, even if it will take even longer than I estimated in the worst case scenario.
I’m not sure what this is. Maybe it’s just something to break the ice, to get back on the horse. I don’t want it to be a promise that I will start to post much more again, because who knows. I have a lot of ideas, and I’m still determined to work on this, but who knows what will happen. So for now, I just want to start posting again.
I want posting to become easy, I want it to become casual. I don’t have any followers, and I’m not looking for them at the moment. I’m not posting this anywhere immensely public, like Substack or Medium. I’m posting it here, on my own site, so I’m free to post whatever I like. Even if it’s a hundred posts of me meditating on how to write about something else. I want that to be okay too, even if right now my ambition and my ideas tell me it’s a waste of time and effort, given how much more I think I could offer. The only real goal here is to write and to publish.