When you’re playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world. And it is. But when it’s behind you, it’s behind you. This mindset is really crucial—because it frees you to fully commit to the next point with intensity, clarity, and focus. – Roger Federer
I haven’t published anything in the last two weeks, and honestly I don’t feel like publishing something now. However, I’m not giving up on this project, I really want to continue, and I just wanted to post something, to make sure I don’t keep putting off.
I have ideas for post topics, but, as I said, I don’t feel like publishing anything and I don’t want to make the effort to choose one of those topics now, so instead I’ll write about my current thoughts and this project in general.
It’s been a very busy couple of weeks. I have been moving back to my home country and travelling a lot - I am writing this from a train currently - and I haven’t really had the time or energy to write. The first week I missed I thought I would just do it a bit later in the week, and then the second week I was so busy I couldn’t write one post, never mind two. Choosing a topic from all the ones in my list and on my mind also felt like a lot of work (maybe I could start selecting topics from my list randomly?).
I feel a bit guilty, a part of me thinks that I should have made an effort to post something, anything at all, just to not lose the streak. Maybe that is true. I’m inclined to believe that as long as I still hit 100 posts, I don’t really need to worry about it, and I specially don’t need to punish myself for it, so it’s all okay. This is supposed to be something I’m doing for fun after all.
The motto of this project really is: just keep posting. Not feeling it? Just keep posting. Missed a couple of weeks? Just keep posting. Easy.
I think I want to briefly reaffirm why I’m doing this, to remind myself of my motivation. I’m doing this, simply, because I’ve always thought I wanted a blog, and consistently writing and publishing has always been the biggest obstacle. I’m doing this to figure out whether I really want to have a blog, or just be the kind of person who would have a blog. I’m doing this to learn what it feels like to consistently publish, to focus just on that, and trust that my taste and my creativity will develop as I become more and more comfortable with publishing.
That’s good, I’m happy with that, I want to keep writing and publishing. I want to get to 100 posts and see where I go from there. My current plant is that for next week’s post I will try choosing a topic at random from my list, and then just try to write anything on the topic. It doesn’t need to be a full essay, just a first riff on the topic, I can always rewrite as many times as I like, as I intend to do with (8) yes-and as integration. I have at least 89 more opportunities to write about anything I want after all.