Today I have written another post for 100 posts, which means that this is the first time I will write two posts inn one day. Also, I’m pretty happy because that is the third post I write that is not about the project or writing itself, and it is a post that I have been thinking about for a very long time (I think it was one of the first posts in potential essays).
However, I also feel a bit like I have cheated. As I said, I have been wanting to write that post for a long time. I had the idea, I had a general vision of what I wanted to say, and in the last few weeks it has been feeling more and more relevant. But, I was really really struggling to write it, because I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to say or how I was going to structure it. So today, after avoiding and procrastinating for the whole week, I have decided to try something new. I have gone to ChatGPT and I have asked it to interview me about the post, ask me questions.
The idea was that by answering the questions I would have a clearer image of what I wanted to say, and then I would go on to write the proper post. Instead, it turned out that answering the questions took much more effort than I was anticipating. Maybe I should have aimed to give ChatGPT shorter answers, just to give myself an outline of what I wanted to say, and then go on to write the post with that outline. I don’t know, but what I have actually done has been answer the questions in earnest.
(actually this gives me an idea of how to reframe the post)
Okay, I have just come back. I have added ChatGPT’s questions and a disclaimer to the post, and now I feel happier about it, it feels more honest. I was already feeling honest because I was planning on writing this post as a disclaimer, but I think it’s better if the previous post’s format already shows how rough it actually is.
My idea is, I think there is a lot to say on the topic. I can see so many connections to so many things, it is becoming a larger part of my worldview and I want it to be perfect. But obviously it’s not going to be perfect. Not the first time I write about it, or the second one. I can only hope that if it’s as important as I think it is I will keep feeling compelled to write about it, and every time I will understand it better and express it better.
So for now it’s okay if it is what it is. It’s okay if it’s just my answers to some questions from a chat bot. It is actually innovative and something I hadn’t tried before, even if I had seen other people do it and I had thought many times about doing it. So it is cool and fun that I’ve been able to experiment when I was feeling blocked. Now I know that if I do this again I should focus on doing an outline, not answering completely earnestly because I will save that for the actual post. I also know much more about what I think about this topic, so I think next time if I start from scratch I will have much more luck with it, but more importantly I won’t be so scared of failing.